Canto XIII

So entered we this forest black, 1
Its colors wrong, all out of whack,
And Nessus left us find our way,
In pathless wood in fear we strayed. 4
And all my clothes on briar's torn,
All shredded they on curving thorns,
And up on top of branches high
There nest foul Harpies, evil cry 8
From perch on top of highest boughs
I watched them with my twisted brow.
Their eyes were cold, with wings were wide,
They screamed as heard I round me sighs. 12
With dreadful moan that echoes round,
The sad lament of hopeless sound.
So Virgil turns to say right there
In words that died in stagnant air 16
That we had entered second ring
That Phlegathon around did pin
That stretched on to the burning sands
Where blasphemous by God were damned. 20
'Behold this wood and listen now
For source of this infernal row
Just grab a branch and snap it off
To put to rest that train of thought 24
So grabbed I branch and off I tear
And heard I then a pain filled swear
'Oh Cruel-ty, without pity!
Oh why must you most cruel wound me? 28
What once was man but now are stumps,
Just flotsam in this forest dumped.
For those who have the souls of snakes,
Now down in seventh circle staked.' 32
From out of wound there came a voice
Of those who made a bitter choice
'Forgive me please.' my master grieved
To set this wretch upon your tree 36
So tell this fool who once you were
Your name on earth he may repair.'
And so in Wood of Suicide
I heard a tale that made me cry 40
Of servant who had served his lord
On shifting sands, by act of sword
Then came one day and he was framed
And took his life his family save 44
And then on its own tears it choked
And asked me this in voice full broke,
‘If ever Fuhrer you should see
Please tell him to remember me.48
Please tell him then of all you know
My self slain soul in hell now sown.'
But told him not I’d seen his boss
A mile before the river crossed, 52
Where rested he up to his brows
In burning blood in fate most foul.
'Now tell him how you can to be,'
My master speaks to moaning tree, 56
'In second round of seventh maw
And what your dying vision saw.'
'I saw a light.' The tree replied
'When first I'd realized I'd died 60
And then a wind began to blow
That pulled me in on current slow
Until it like Katrina blasts
That sucked me down and then was cast 64
By chance wherever happened fell
On dreadful slopes of seventh hell
And when the final day last comes
We'll suffer still with bodies hung 68
That once we wore, but wear no more,
Instead upon our limbs we'll store.
And hang they then like rotten fruit
Reminder of a dreadful truth 72
That One should never Oneself kill
Or risk your soul in forest chill.'
Before the bush could say some more
We heard a growing distant roar 76
Then a-sudden ground starts shaking
Heard I sounds of branches breaking
Sees I two I thought I knew
Come running in with asses blue 80
Followed fast by fifty bitches
One of men in pain down pitches, 82
And then he calls to fleeing mate
(Before by pack of dogs was ate!)
'You weren't so fast at Nuremberg!'
And then was caught by chasing curs, 86
And gobbled up and carried off 87
This sinner by the pack was scoffed.
Left they then with little pieces
Splattered on their midnight fleeces. 90
Heard I low then pain filled moaning
Crept I closer to the groaning
To where I saw a broken bush
That bleeding from it phrases gushed 94
'I am the ghost of Kurt Cobain
By mine own hand was I self slain
Now in this bleeding bush I'm bind
Oh well, whatever, nevermind.' 98
Then Virgil takes my hand and leads
Beyond the wood of tree that bleed
As tears now roll from wounded eye
In silence stumbled as I cried 102

Canto XIV

We reached the edge and I looked down 1
Upon a site all drear and brown
And stretched away a path I saw
That snaked on down to valley floor 4
So led was I to Great Divide
The burning sands by God devised
And out upon this dreadful plain
I saw a million fires rain 8
The plain all ringed by garland wood
With sand baked hard the hue of blood
Where any sense of living green
Not here upon this ground was seen 12
As all around a thousand shapes
That moved across the blasted scape 14
Upon those souls that sinned below
That dared attack the golden throne
In seventh maw third circle round
The souls of others foul be found. 18
The fires burned like napalm dropped
On driest thatch or parched crops
In darkest gloom the only light
Was from these burning fires bright 22
As sinners blazed and rolled on sand
To douse what can't be doused by damned.
So Virgil turns and leads the way
Not out on burning sand we stray 26
Where flames came down like burning rafts
Maintained by Hell's infernal craft
But rather yet we hold the cleft
And skirt the wood we'd recent left 30
I saw a sinner bound to sand
With metal rings on feet and hands
And screamed he of his hate for God
He called a fake, a foul, a fraud 34
The sins of man of which he screamed
Foul blasphemy the curses streamed
And seeing then us walking past
Aspersions on me then were cast 38
'There is no god, you're foolish eyes
Can't see what’s best described as lies
These burning sands before you see
The punishment for blasphemy 42
The forest round it ringed with thorns
For sinners who first life have scorned
The river red of sadness bled
Whereby you simply must have tread 46
And burning graves for heretics
Beyond that flows the River Styx
Upon whose banks the greedy ranks
Must push their penance round then back 50
Beyond again the stinking rain
Where gluttons starving cry in vain
Now up to second circle round
Where lustful souls like starlings found 45
Then through the mist for those who missed
The chance to get the Savior’s kiss
Beyond again where cowards quake
By Acheron before the gate 58
Include so do the world beyond
Its in your mind, do not respond
And God is just a foolish dream!'
In rage to me this sinner screamed! 62
So turns then Virgil to his right
And leads he round the land of blight
And reach we then a rocky course
Where river red poured through in force 66
And tale he told of Man of Crete
A statue great and most complete
Whose head was poured from purest gold
His arms and chest from silver rolled 70
The rest of him down to his balls
From Iron made if I recall
His legs were bronze, his left foot too
His right is baked from clay mind you 74
Upon the foot of clay he leans
While tears fall down in bloody streams
That forms the rivers we traverse
In buddy movie most adverse 78
For sins of world the statue cries
And all the rivers could run dry
Before they'd dent the blood that’s spent
That pour through Hell for no repent 82
And Amazon one billionth piece
Of liquid flowing through this crease
So time had come for us to quit
And out on plain of fire split 86

Canto XV

So set we on this dreadful path 1
And made our way cross land of wrath
Then Virgil cautions where to walk
Avoiding sand that blows like chalk 4
That burned like phosphor all it touched
Till enveloped in fire brushed
The sinners charred their bodies black
No hope for them, no going back 8
As moved they round in roving gangs
With cries and wails as they harangued
As watched I vision made of despair
I choking then in dust filled air 12
And looking back I could not see
The wood beyond the rising heat
And all about were giant banks
That rose in rows in rank on rank 16
A thousand lines like ocean dykes
Like ramparts yet not half that high
So Virgil lectures as we stroll
And spells it out, how sinners roll 20
'The blighters suffer in three types
Some run, some sit, some forced to lie
Dependant on their dreadful sin
Their fate dictate in seventh ring 24
Now those supine of first kind
Are blasphemers (The most maligned.)
And left they are to shout their lot
Is blasphemy they lost the plot 28
The second type that run about
As beat they hands and loud they shout
Are those whose souls in act most vile
The thought of which does raise my bile 32
When choice of oysters over snails
They lusted after arse's pale
Need I say more?' he pointed said
Considered lines between lines read 36
'The souls that run in seventh sphere
Their crime was one of being queer.'
So moved we on while sinners ran
In groups, or sat or lay on sand 40
Then noticed I a group of souls
That once I'd seen in Broadway show
And called I one like rabid fan
Who turned to me with face all tan 44
And though his features burnt and dry
The ghost of Cary Grant I spied
And asked I then he stay awhile
But looked at me and sadly smiled 48
'Whoever for a moment stops
Four hundred years in place he's locked 50
Against the burning flames that strike
His arms are set so cannot fight
No, rather you go on your road
And follow I will toil below.' 54
'Who are your friends?' I queried him
'These others here who have stooped to sin?'
And answered me in shame he told
Of sin for which his soul was sold 58
And pointed then to Jimmy Dean
And Bogarde, Brando, Brenden Behan
Then names he Liberace's name
And Leonardo sashays by in shame 62
As Michelangelo stumbles past
And contemplates his Judgment Last
There in the pack was Oscar Wilde
Who ran with Marlow by his side 66
And Ren & Stimpy, Mr. Smithers
Suffered under fires withered
And in the rear by glee was tailed
The leering ghost of James Whale
For those on earth who light on toes
Their souls in Hell are bound to go 72
Those sinners in that frantic train
Here down in Hell in burning rain 74
Then reaching point we gained a place
The ghost of Grant resumes his race 76
And even as he moves from me
His voices raised in prophecy
And tells me of the things I'll do
When journey has been journeyed through 80
And called I back to racing ghost
(Who looked to catch his former post.)
And told him that I didn't care
For God and Fortune, great and fair 84
Would see me on my proper road
I'd go where ever Fortune blow-ed!
My master nods and seems well pleased
As move we through this land diseased. 88

Canto XVI

And nearing there a certain place 1
Where air contained a distant trace
I heard a roar like crashing shore
Or maybe yet a war next door 4
That happened off beyond our sight
But ears could hear it without eyes
And knew I in my heart that sound
Like distant water falling down 8
My mind recalled Victoria Fall's
By this was made to look real small
Then saw approaching group of souls
When over to me three shades rolled 12
As gain they then all three loud shout
'You, fellow there!' they all cried out
'The very cut of your cool jeans
The place you're from and what it means 16
'What man are you who walks below?
Please tell us what we want to know!'
Oh my! The wounds I saw on limbs
Both old and new that flame seared in 20
My mind recoiled in mental pain
To see these shades in place insane
And halted we right there awhile
As spirits round and round they file 24
And arm in arm in circles go
(With head opposed to heels you know)
There round about on spinning trail
And never risked their movement fail 28
'Though we are base I'd have you know
That once we were the place to go
How fares the city on the hill
Has Fortune left it standing still? 32
So may our fame incline your mind
To chat with us a while, most kind
How came your living feet through hell
Who is your guide?' they asked me tell 36
'Though we be burnt and we be peeled
Around we go in constant wheel
For we were once the kings of men
Until to Hell our souls were sent 40
The one in front, His Piety,
Was one who had impropriety
Though ruled he mother church you know
His soul to Hell was bound to go. 44
The one behind was compromised
By sight of arse and hairy thighs
The oval house he once had ruled
In Hell with me for sin is schooled 48
And so he burns both him and I.'
The spirit said and then he sighed
'And I was William Rufus King
Before I found the seventh ring.' 52
As watched I these poor sinners bake
I shed a tear with heart ache
'The city shining on the hill
In distant wars its blood was spilled 56
Though it was once a paragon
The dream is dead, its all long gone!'
So cried I out with face upraised
They looked at me as men un-fazed 60
Then sudden all three wheel away
As though they'd long their welcome strained
And called they out as off they went
'Remember us when journey's spent!' 64
Then legs a blur away they rushed
Until they passed horizon pushed
In time it took to say 'amen';
long gone were sodomites by then. 68
My master thinks it right to leave
So turned we then without reprieve
Toward the sound of water fall
By noise made deaf like raging squall 72
Till reached we then the bitter edge
And Virgil turns to me on ledge.
Requests my belt from round my waist
Which hand I then with all due haste 76
Then standing there with knotted string
With poise my master chucks it in
The chasm deep where waters fell
Down into circle eight of hell 80
And certain something must reply
I thought as down it fall I spied
Then saw I something from the chasm
The nightmare shape that rose in spasms 84
Saw I this lifting from the dark
This vision that I saw most stark. 86

Canto XVII

Faced with truth what seems like lies
A man would rather fade and die
Than let what can't be called the truth
Escape and pass a rotten tooth 4
The things I saw below this wall
It shook my heart as I recall
As looked I down into the gloom
There saw I very shape of doom 8
And beat its wings and flicked its tail
As arm about my head I flailed
My thoughts struck mad by evil sight
I damned near die from fecking fright! 12
'Behold the beast' my master cried
As watched we nearer monster glide
'The death of valor, weapons, walls
The one whose stench will drown us all!' 16
The monster Geryon here now comes
Beneath the wings that beat like drums
Its body black and yet face fair
It kind of looked like Tony Blair 20
And landed there upon the edge
Like vulture parked on jagged ledge
With tail hung down with poison sting
It sits right there with mouth of string 24
So Virgil says ' Our path we'll bend
And skirt the burning sand amend
Our way from here to waiting beast
To place where circle seven ceased.' 28
So made we then ten steps to right
As soiled myself in abject fright
Then out of corner eye I spot
A group of souls on surface hot 32
And as the sparks would catch their skins
Like dogs they'd scratch like mortal sin
With legs they'd flick at any flames
That caught on shade by sin unmade 36
'Go talk to those so tour complete'
Said Virgil, 'while I parley beast.'
So wandered I to talk to shades
Who sat on sand in fire bathed 40
And each of them around their necks
A bag hung down on blistered chests
The symbols of a thousand banks
Were stitched upon the purses rank 44
And in the bags the weight of gold
Weighed down their heads for Savior sold.
I pitied not these usurious dogs
That God now used for starter logs 48
Who spent their days as if by fleas
Tormented here to God appease
I saw there faces once I knew
That here now learned a painful truth 52
That God was good and God was kind
But usury was sin you'd find
Sat Mister Potter on the sand
As beat he at the flames with hands 56
Then looked at me and out he stuck
With impudence, his purple tongue
'Why are you here oh you not dead'
With spiteful eyes the spirit said 60
These sinners here I pitied not
When saw I their eternal lot
These wretches who had earned their fee
Off others while they lived for free 64
And while they burned I wouldn't spit
On sinners who in flames there sit
So went and found my master now
Who sat upon the monster bowed 68
'We fight for peace' then said the beast
But master says 'His words deceive,
His face is fair but it ends there.'
He tells me as I stand and star 72
And shame it caused me to recall
How scared I was to take the fall
But climbed I up on monster's back
As shoulders hunched and tendons cracked 76
Then cast itself into the void
This monster neath my hema-roid’s
'Be strong and wary.' cautioned then
My guide as made we our descent 80
'Be sure to keep your circles wide!'
To Geryon my master cried
So lost I lunch on monster hunched
As flew it down on muscles bunched 84
And knew I then the greatest fright
On dreadful down of fearful flight
And Icarus was not so scared
As I upon my life would swear 88
While lamentations rose around
As flew we down to mournful sound. 90